final crit...

i am really bummed that i had to miss the majority of our final crit. i was really very interested in the work everyone produced. sorry, but i had obligations to my children... sorry to all those that i missed.
i am feeling kind of unsure about how my crit went. thought maybe someone out there could put it into perspective for me. i knew that my images were formal in nature, i actually intended them to be. kind of painterly representations of some of my surroundings. i know they were not as intense as my self portrait. they were intended as example of a completely different genre. in a way they felt like pieces to future puzzles that simply haven't fully developed yet. i actually like the work that i produced for the final. i am happy with it. i don't necessarily feel like it is the end of the road for these pieces, perhaps they will become the backdrop for something more dramatic in the future... i felt that all along.
i guess what i am a bit confused about is the popularity (or lack there of) or the validity of formal art. i also feel confused as to whether or not my classmates felt my work was successful at being what it was intended to be. i feel like alot of the focus of the critique of my work was about simply identifying what it was... "formal", "asthetic" and not something overtly personally revealing. i felt like getting people to admit that it was formal was like getting them to admit to me that my work sucked. after i left i replayed the experience in my mind and realized that no one really commented on whether or not they were successful at being simply formal, painterly digital images of my natural surroundings. surely not all art needs to be hugely revealing and personal. personally i can only dish out so much of my drama to others. thus i thought i would try something else.
i do need to say that my final project, whether the images were interesting to anyone but me or not, was a huge learning process for me. i feel like i really dug into the program to pull things out of it that i didn't know existed to get these images. for my self portrait i basically flew by the seat of my pants. it was really emotional just to create that image and a bit disturbing for me to share it. i think because of that i steared away from such draining work, focusing on color and composition and the simple figuring out of photoshop by myself. so all in all i feel successful. but, i guess i just didn't feel like i got a very clear idea of what you all felt. i am looking for feedback because i am curious and would like honest opinion. i am not afraid of criticism at all and would appreciate it if anyone is still reading these blogs...

walking softly... carrying an inhaler

so i have been all drummed up about the issues we have been discussing. i see the point that sama is shedding light on with the qoute from sontag's writing. it's true. by our living the way that we do, others inevitably suffer. for that very reason every christmas for the past seven years my husband gets depressed and doesn't buy me a christmas present. "consumerism... it is pure evil." i used to mind, feel bad that i was the only one with an empty stocking on christmas morning, because by default it was his job to buy me a gift... i thought that it made me look unimportant to my children, that mommy doesn't deserve to get gifts... blah blah blah. now i fill my own stocking along with everyone else's.

don't get me wrong though, i am not a shopshopshopper... i make the bulk of the gifts our family gives and try to be frugal with shopping, buy locally made things, but it isn't always possible. i am trying to point out a conundrum i face with this isssue in mind... my husband gets consumed by guilt thinking of the rest of the world and as his one action to revolt against the damage our collective consumerism does (besides endlessly and might i add, fruitlessly, lecturing on the subject) , he boycotts christmas and other giftgiving holidays. i don't see him doing anything else to try to rectify the situation. he still buys his building supplies at home depot... he still drives his gas guzzling truck... he doesn't live any humbler despite his rants. he talks about life in america, that he doesn't want to live here. he says he would like to know real suffering and have to live off of the land instead of how we live here... (walmart has everything you need... fast and cheap). he wants to reshuffle the deck, so to speak and he wants to take me and our children with him.

in some idealistic way i understand him. live far out in the country on a farm, how lovely the idea is. to teach my children real survival skills...but at the same time... "my children", i think to myself, my son has asthma and needs medicine that i can't pull out of my ass or make from hay, hemp and goat's milk. i know that without the medical facilities that i have access to, without being able to drive, without being close to the doctor, my son would never have survived his first asthma attack. if we were truly to "even things out", my son would suffer and probably die. so do we give up our home, cars and access to the "stuff" that has been helping us? do we let our son die because the world is overpopulated and we are greedily trying to extend the life of humanbeings with medicine to the point where we are inevitably destroying our planet? what the hell do i know?

i am thankful for the opportunities i have been blessed with. i don't want to be a glutonous, insatiable american, but i suppose that in some ways i am. i have encountered unthinkable obstacles in my life ( i can't even go there), i work hard, really hard, for the life i have, but in some ways all i have was handed to me simply because i was born here... the united states, during this time period. i have the opportunity for education, i have a good job that pays for what my family needs to survive and then some. i have worked really hard to pull my family out of literal poverty and have done a really good job. some of my life is luck, and there are aspects of my life that are not helping the general welfare of the world...but i work nonstop trying to improve it. my goal with my schooling is to be an art therapist, work with children and try to help make the world a better place, however idealistic that may sound.

i think the point i was initially trying to make about art in my previous blog is a little fuzzed by my vinegary froth of righteousness. i think that in some ways i don't relate to american ideals. i have always felt a little foreign here. i don't know where i think i'm from, but in other cultures i often see snippets of ideals and things i relate to. my own country leaves me feeling angered and frustrated and seething. so, i suppose i feel like it is okay to comment on this, create art about things outside of who i am and also about things in my world. i also realize how art is filtered by the eyes of the viewer. i am an american and that will always be part of how my art is viewed, consiously or not. i am angered by this stereotyping, by both the privilege and disgrace i know as an american, but i am also not in any position to give it up entirely either. conundrum.

curves and levels...

i am amazed at the difference levels and curves can make... depth... color... thought i'd post my image before and after.

creating...

I am trying to create some cohesive element in these pieces I've been working on. Beyond the fact that they are from the same photo shoot in my yard in Novemeber, I felt as though the styles were too different. I also have been having the problem of my colors being too hot, I get that exclamation mark with the dropper everywhere. So to solve both of these dilemmas I created my own filter of sorts by adding the same layer to each work. It muted the tones and gave texture. The first one, the sepia toned one, I think I am happy with. I also like the next one, the hydrangeas... but the rosehips on the bottom are giving me a headache. There is something not quite painterly about that one and it may need to be discarded from this group. If anyone has any ideas on how to get it feeling more incorporated, speak out. Perhaps erasing the leaves???

americanization

I just read Sarra's blog and I feel the need to comment... I feel pegged. I feel as though I am an American, a Westerner and that because of the reputation that my country has on this planet at the moment that I am being discriminated against.
We had a conversation about Orientalism, or Exoticism. Basically the glorification of the "exotic" nature of other cultures to the western eye, thus the supposed missunderstanding of that culture. Words in Kanji or Arabic put into a piece of artwork without their meaning being understood. Back in the day, the pictures of herams... of hukas... extravagance that was purely the fantasy of the westerner, not the reality of the subject.
Personally, (and of course I need to ask the question who am I before this statement...) I feel as though works such as those by Dorothy Krause are important. Perhaps she has misunderstood some of what she has documented. Of course that is a possibilty, but people in America need exposure to other places. I feel that our country is ill. Somewhere within our boundries their lies a body of disciples to some misshapen ideal; ignorant, egocentric folks that believe the world is theirs to rape and pillage as they see fit... all under the guise of being American. I'm not sure if those people can be educated out of their dillerium, but I know that exposure to the beauty of foreign lands could certainly be a start. Americans could use a little Easternization.
Documentation, pure journalism... that is, documentation with the acknowledgemant that their is always a bias present... is sincere and important to expose the primitive and reputation-forming part of our country to. If not the beauty an artist might see, then what? The "enemy" through another's eye?
I am tired of being thrown into the category of Westerner, American. I was born here, yes, but it is not my fault. I feel that I am more than that. I have renounced the things in my life which I felt were prejudiced, and unfair to the world, such as the religion I was born into... Catholicism. It was no easy thing for me either. I almost isolated myself from my family... I would have if it weren't for their own personal growth and acceptance of "otherness." Unfortunatley I am an American. I know that just because of that I am indirectly loathed throughout the world. Isn't that reaction similar to what we are discussing? Isn't the overall demoralization of a country by outsiders the same as the glorification of one?
I guess that our discussion left me feeling pigeonholed. In my life I teeter on other cultures. My family is Italian. My husband's is Japanese. I am an American, but I don't relate to the ideals of my country and often feel powerless as far as the portrayal of Americans to the rest of this planet.
At my house we fly the Earth flag because in my heart I know we are all related. I think we can all learn from each other and that there are human attributes that connect us all, de-nationalize us. I would like to dwell on that instead of the fact that I am different from someone from India, or Viet Nam or Japan or Brazil. I think that it is high time to begin letting our world become smaller and connected.. perhaps through art. Let someone else come photograph my world and misinterpret it. It's okay. Everything out there is filtered through the eyes of the creator anyway. We all have biases... what do you think is beautiful or hideous, worthy of note? It'll differ from the person sitting next to you, maybe even from the people you share your life with. All of those opinions count. All the different interpretations of life are meaningful. If we only concetrate on what we know then those without a loud enough voice may go unheard. We could remain separate. I suppose if things keep going the way they are, if we leave the power in the hands it is in, we very well may.

to make good art you need $$$$$$

in researching Dorothy Simpson Krause for my artist profile tomorrow I have discovered a lot about how to make really lovely, deep toned, rich prints. The first thing I learned was that in order to produce quality art one has to sink a pretty penny into equipment and materials. Often times the difference between a nice print and an amazing one is the output device. It is funny to me that a lot of the digital artists I have read about all talk about what they print with, the Epsom 9600, bale blah blah... Flat bed printers that can print onto a 1 1/2 inch thick substrate. Also the materials one uses have to be top quality. The technique and skill one has is also, of course, important. I guess it's like cooking, a good kitchen and tools, the ingredients, their freshness and quality all count, and so does the chef.
I did discover in my research a couple of interesting things. I love, as I have said previously, really rich color. Umber, Red, Gold... I found a link to a company that produces this stuff... I don't know what to call it really. It is called inkAID and basically preps a substrate to add depth of color and luminance. It primes many surfaces allowing you to print on metal and it seals porous paper really nicely, or so they say. There are varieties of it, clear, gold, red, blue... They even offer a free sample pack of six different types of the magic stuff for free to first time buyers. Well, you pay $24 for shipping and handling. You can read more about it at www.inkaid.com .
I also read a bit about encaustic... Basically painting with pigment suspended in wax. It produces a really deep and I assume physically thick image. The pigment is literally suspended in the wax so you can look right into it.
the other thing I read about that I found interesting was "lenticular" imagery. Basically it is a method of creating mock 3-D images. You use photoshop to create 8 or so layers of the same image and layer them slightly off left to recede, right to protrude and then you run through a program called "flip!" and it created the image for you. From what I read you then mount the images in a convex, lenticular lens for displaying. It looks deep to the viewer.
these are all techniques that Krause has employed in her work, among many others. She is a true educator and seems willing to share a lot of what she discovers with the rest of the world which is something I admire...

more work...

I worked on this image a little more... added texture and some layers... made the colors more appealing. Anyone have any input? I like it better than before, that is for sure, but as far as truly liking it?

dorothy simpson krause

i just wanted to share the artist that i am doing my profile on her name is Dorothy Simpson Krause. i am fascinated with her work. it is sexy and intelligent and well, it's really delicious. she uses colors i love, golds and umbers... old things, creepy things, but sublime and beautiful. she's good. she has a set of tarot cards, and a bunch of art books that are absolutely breathtaking. a lot of her work is from old texts. i imagine her living amongst old tomes... weird medical books and illuminated manuscripts...

check her out at www.dotkrause.com.

the pieces that i am posting are hers...

some more images...

here are a couple of images that i decomposed a little bit more than the last few i posted. was hoping for feedback, but i don't think that we read each others' blogs much. so i suppose i shall post them with the intent of seeing them in a different context...
i think that i like these, but i'm very hesitant about being cliche...i have to admit that this class is the first real exposure that i have had to digital art and don't know much about what is out there. even though i have been doing some curious research, i feel as though i don't know where to look to find good art. i'm not sure what the criteria is. then again, a lot about art for me is the mere creation of it, the manifestation of it. in all the mediums i have gotten intimate with my art has progressed, so with this too, i suppose it shall...

i really like digital. it appeals to the side of me that likes instant gratification. i recently bought my first digital camera and there is something to be said for being able to immediately run to my computer and begin working. there is, however, a certain bit of soul that digital seems to lack. in my work i have been trying to replace that soul, give my images some girth and thickness, both visually and in general spirit. as far as context, i think this latest project of mine is pretty fluid. more about color, form and design than anything else...

final images...

so i have dug into my final project. it's theme is based on my idea of "pieces of november". texture and color are my primary focus. texture and color that evoke feeling. i am posting an image to get some feedback. i feel like the project is really loose. basically i took a bunch of pictures of things that interest me in my environment, things that have been effected, affected or altered by autumn. then i decomposed the images to a degree, altered them ... please comment, all feedback is welcome... i'm really not sure if i want to leave these images with anything realistic or recognizable in them at all... i have always been into the close-up view of things, moving so far in on an object that recognition of what you are looking at becomes difficult. thus we have some "bark", some "fungus" and some "rosehips."

self portrait in false bamboo...

I wanted to publish my midterm project so that I could see it and practice looking at it out of context. The theme for the project was, in short, making the private public. I'm not sure how much success I've had. Very private, but does the public get it? It is very emotional. I feel that it touches on some sort of domestic violence vein. I can hardly wait for some feedback. I showed it to my husband, I think that I offended him. (Point needs to be made that I am not an abused woman. My husband loves me very much.) Hard to explain where it came from. There is something... I think that it has to do with all of the things in life I have been trying to take on and how my house is awreck and some days I struggle to get out of bed... Full time Mother (in a wanna-be patriarchical home), Full-time Student and Waitress (payin most of the bills)... It is kicking my ass. My Japanese father-in-law brags about women in Japan doing all this like as though as simple as breathing... career, house, husband, children and then some. I wonder what it is I am missing? A gene somewhere.

paper plate lithography...

Here are a few pictures, well actually prints, also known as paperplate lithos, or photo lithos.

Basically, these are black and white photos I took of my children which I scanned into my computer, cropped, edited, etc... I printed them out and photocopied them on a black and white photocopier, a printer that uses toner, not ink. Then I coated the pictures in the wonder serum, Gum Arabic. It sticks to every part of the page but the toner. The gum repels oils, thus when oil based ink is rolled over the image, it sticks only to the toner... The plate is thus created. It is then run through the press and some really beautiful images can be created. These images are printed on deliciously lush hand made mulberry paper. The computer doesn't do them justice. They look like photos from feudal Japan or from a Kurasawa samarai movie. Old and textured.

I am doing an independent study that utilizes this process as well as photo etching. Photo etching is a process that perhaps I will tpuch on in a later entry...

printmaking...

My favorite thing in the world is my family. Images of them fill my thoughts and my work as a student of art. I have always loved photography and portraiture. Thus I suppose my family has become the natural subject for my work, albeit cliche.

I worked with a photographer for a while doing digital imaging for his studio. He opened my eyes to the possibilities that lie within the digital world.

My studio time in school has mainly been spent as a printmaker. I have been combining photo and digital in the printmaking studio for a while now and really love it. There are seemingly unlimited possibilities for what can be created. These three disciplines are the recent focus of my art. Photos, digitally manipulated to some degree turned into a print made with ink and sweat.

graffiti

After last week's graffiti discussion was really interesting. It took me backward in time. Back in the days before I had children, when I was a young hellion myself, I was intrigued by graffiti art amongst other things. As I got older and moved to a smaller city I lost contact with my graffiti friends. I stopped hanging out outside at night on the steps of the New Haven courthouse or in the midst of the mighty old building that comprise the campus of Yale. In a time and a place where the city and all of its elements made up my environment and affected my moods I loved the idea of graffiti. Now that I think about it, after I left the big city and moved to Maine where I hung around outside less I began to fill my own interior blank walls with art kind of like graffiti. I had a huge mural of human-size goblin-like things that I did in sidewalk chalk in my kitchen. Really appetizing. The walls of the dining room were filled entirely with the traced and filled sillhouettes of all of my guests. It was like a constant party. Funny to think that perhaps those pieces of mine were somehow influenced by graffiti. Oh, and yes I was renting and they did keep my security deposit even though the walls were so much nicer after I had gotten a hold of them. Wish I had pictures.

computer stuff...

Generally, this blog thing feels funny to me. Sorry for not having posted anything until now. It is new for me and I can't help, but feel like this is weird and invasive... for anyone to stumble on. I keep redrafting, but now I have decided to be free since I have to do this.

I don't mind carrying on the discussions from class in writing. Writing is kind of easy in way. I'm free to go on and on and on as I please. I always feel as though I am interrupting someone, or am interrupted when we are in our class. There is a certain incohesiveness as far as discussions go that is created, I feel, by the set- up of the room and having to look over computers to see the humans in the class. Everyone is contorted to physically relate to whomever is talking. It is funny. The whole idea I am talking about relates to the discussion in which we were all talking about the tarot cards online and how technology changes things. Well, I think that the presence of technology in our classroom effects discussion. I find myself sitting on my feet, literally, and feeling as though I need to be ultra aggressive to get a word in... and I wonder if it is worth feeling rude to get my thoughts out? I guess this blog thing might help that. Free to go on and on like I said... Perhaps technology itself is making up for its own drawbacks in some way. Hmmn... Something to think about.